How Personality Disorders Drive Family Court Litigation
As those with personality disorders generally view relationships from a rigid and adversarial perspective, it is inevitable that a large number end up in the adversarial process of court. Read more

Lying In Family Court
When I became a family law attorney/mediator after a dozen years as a therapist, one of the biggest surprises was the extent of lying in Family Court: lies about income, assets, and even complete fabrications of child abuse and domestic violence. Why would people lie so much, I wondered? How did they get away with it? Read more

Dealing With Dilemmas in Collaborative Practice

Collaborative practice is riddled with dilemmas. One of the common ones is deciding whether we should take this case. "Is it appropriate for the collaborative approach? Will we really be able to help them?" Another common dilemma: "One of the parties is really dragging their feet, while the other party wants this over yesterday. Should we pressure the slow party to move faster or the fast party to move slower?"

Dilemmas like these trigger a lot of tension within the collaborative team, and a lot of frustration for the parties with the collaborative model. I would like to suggest that these dilemmas are common, healthy, not a crisis, and at the core of the potential of the collaborative approach. Read More

Responding To Hostile Email
Hostile mail – especially email – has become much more common over the past decade. Most of this mail is just “venting,” and has little real significance. However, when people are involved in a formal conflict (a divorce, a workplace grievance, a homeowners’ association complaint, etc.) there may be more frequent and intensely hostile mail.  Read more

Is Your Child "Alienated"?

Is Your Child Rejecting One Parent? In divorce or separation, 10% - 15% of children express strong resistance to spending time with one of their parents -- and this may be increasing in our society. It may be hte father or mother. It may be the parent the child "visits", or the parent where the child lives. Is this the result of abuse by the "rejected" parent? Or is this the result of alienation by the "favored" parent? The idea that one parent can alienate a child against the other has been a big controversy in family courts over the past 20 years, with the conclusion that there are many possible causes for this resistance. Read more

Evaluating Sexual Abuse Reports In Family Court

One of the most difficult issues which can confront parents, counselors, attorneys and judges is the concern that a child has been sexually abused. Evaluating an allegation against a parent is especially difficult in the context of separation or divorce.  Read more

Ten Thoughts For Divorcing Parents

Divorce is usually painful for everyone involved. But how to shield your children from unnecessary pain - this is the question! If you are planning or have recently divorced, here are few things to consider:  Read more

Beware of High Conflict Politicians

As the election season heats up, politician behavior becomes a major concern. Over the past 15 years, I have been an attorney and mediator (with a background as a therapist) dealing with "high conflict" disputes, such as divorces, workplace conflicts, neighbor disputes, business partnership breakups, personal injury lawsuits, etc. I have learned "The Issue's not the issue" in these high conflict disputes.  Read more

Definitions Related To High Conflict Personalities

The following are some of the common terms used in the family law community by mental health and legal professionals. Several terms were created specifically by Bill Eddy to explain the dynamics of High Conflict Personalities in High Conflict cases.  Read more